Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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