I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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