i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
