so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
