i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
