She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
