My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
