The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
try to milk me bitch
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