I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
