i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
