ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
