420 ftw
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
