I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
