Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
