just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
