YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You work out of a Hotel?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize