this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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