If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
