I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
