Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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