airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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