I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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