after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
