How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
