i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
