ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
