I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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