So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Randomize
