Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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