Don't you send me to vm
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
