im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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