at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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