First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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