is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
