Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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