Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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