An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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