Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
