I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
