ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
