I never want to see another naked old woman again.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize