on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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