my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
