i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
