What did we do last night that was yellow?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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