From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
