i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
