Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
