I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
