he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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