She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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