after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
