I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
