I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
