Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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