Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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