my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
