He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize