sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
