He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
