Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
